Talking points: inspiration and being yourself

I do not have a bunch of photography credentials to back me up. I have no fine art or photography schooling experience. I have never been in a dark room or experienced the film process. I bought my first camera less than 2 years ago. I learned how to shoot in manual from an online blog and have yet to invest in a mentorship or workshop (it’s comin tho- and I’m excited to do it).

I feel the weight of all of these things in my evolution of photography ESPECIALLY the business aspect. I often don’t feel as qualified as those around me. But as I’ve learned and grown, I’m finding maybe I don’t have *those* specific qualities, but I do have my own. My own individual qualities are going to directly influence my work, my business, all the things, and being able to figure out what makes me “me”, an ongoing evolution obviously, has greatly impacted my trajectory as an artist and a business owner. I will say that my own personal philosophy leads with the art and the business comes second. I am at a place where my focus is marrying the two, and I think my business will be more successful because I’m putting so much love and effort into the artistry. A big component of this process is allowing myself to discover different parts of myself and letting inspiration come along with it. It takes time, effort, and a lot of patience. Im going to start laying it out there, some of these pieces and parts, so maybe it’s helpful for some of you in similar places on their artistic journey or for those who might be curious.  I’m also perfectly content writing into a void just because it helps get the thoughts out of my head. Both are a win-win.

 So, despite feeling incredibly under-qualified as a photographer, a little fun fact about me is I grew up immersed in the arts. I didnt put much thought into it until recently, when I started sitting with myself as a creative. Now I believe that my camera is my vessel that’s helped unlocked these parts of me my that were forming way back in childhood, I just never fully pursued it. 

My father is a professor with a love of music and art history. A well established percussionist, band director, and teacher of art history. I would tag along on field trips to museums all over the state, living my best life. I would go through his art history textbooks as a child and make up dances to the works of Monet, I dabbled in multiple musical instruments, sang in the choir. I would draw on everything (much to my mothers dismay), took extra art classes in school and would volunteer extra time in the elementary school art class. My mother and grandmother often encouraged my drawing and I can remember my mom suggesting I pursue art therapy when I was debating my plans post-high school graduation. I had a love of editorial photography, my room was always plastered with ripped out pages of vogue and I spent hours studying angles and thinking about the je ne sais quoi of the photos. 

But for years, much of my life really, I leaned into my social life and sports, then marriage and motherhood. The reason my backstory is relevant here is because I never allowed myself to identify with and fully own the creative part of me that’s always been there. When I first started I felt a little phony or maybe stereotypical “mom wants to get a fancy camera” but I need to give myself a bit more credit, a baby step in letting go of self doubt thus helping me move forward in the right direction. Self doubt is such a thief. It’s a thief of joy, creativity, of sharing and receiving love. By doubting yourself you’re immediately putting a road block in the way of becoming the kind of artist you want to be. Trust yourself that you are good enough, that you are unique, that you are worth it. It might creep in, but keep going anyway.

Once I was able to accept the fact that I’m more than just a photographer, that I am an artist/creative, letting all of these influences from childhood open back up the part of me that I pushed aside and let sit dormant for so many years and has propelled me forward with my work- without a doubt. I’m no longer questioning every decision, I’m no longer relying on peers to guide or influence how I create (though I am definitely still inspired by them, value their work, and love seeing what they do), I don’t use it as a crutch and I don’t compare myself to them as often- it’s a different relationship. I have found my best work comes from when I’m being authentic to myself. 

If you’re looking to allow yourself to go a little deeper and move away from relying on inspiration from Instagram, it’s definitely worth a shot. It’s not something I suggest doing peak busy season. It might even need to be something you plan for yourself, because it’s not a course you can take or an overnight experience. It takes time and a clear(ish) headspace. The first place I’d start is by taking an intentional break from your socials but keep the intention of wanting to shoot or create. You’ll start picking up cues all around you. Maybe it’s the way the light is hitting your little, maybe you hear a song on the radio you haven’t heard in forever, or you read a book. You have to allow your subconscious/unconscious parts of your brain to process more than what you’re getting on the surface. I first started leaning into this process over the summer and in the I found inspiration from the woods, I loved seeing my kids running around naked through the creeks. I would say in the beginning it was a very rudimentary/obvious inspiration. As time has gone on I find I’m inspired by the books I’m reading, like I almost read the words as a painting and can visualize the colors and aesthetic, this happens naturally and at random times, it’s not something I force. I’m inspired by ‘90s music and rom-coms (think: boy meets world nostalgia and Kat in 10 things I Hate About You who was the angsty emo artistry teen before the fad of emo teens became popular in the early 2000s). I’m inspired by the work of photographers like Francesca Woodman, Sally Mann, Annie Leibovitz and it’s not so much me like wanting to replicate their work as much as I realize deeper what I’m drawn to and commonalities between them- history, women, weird, authentic, I could go on. I’m inspired by milestones and seasons and so, so many things that I could ramble about but mostly I’m inspired by old photographs, like filmy, dusty, stored in the attic type of photographs. There is so much more, and so many places that don’t require me to scroll my feed. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being inspired through your social medias. I love using my social media apps for checking out other peoples work. Something I love more than Instagram for inspiration is Pinterest- you can really find some cool shit on there. I love it. I love my online communities of photographers. I LOVE unraveled academy and their courses and monthly creative practices. There are also some amazing fucking artists who deserve for you to feel inspired by their work out there.

Some I love are:

Teri hofford(terihofford): her captions are incredible
Alana with Folk Photography (folkphotography_): her tones and the way she captures motherhood 
Lisa Warren (imagesbylisawarren): alll the cinematic, vintage nostalgia 
Lindsay Saunders (forestandfieldphotography): so much talent with color, art, and incorporating her kids.. plus, pie. 
Sasha Casta  (iamsashacasta): her black and whites blow me away, and I love that she leads with emotion 
Mari trancoso( (mari.trancoso): kind of a legend
Monica Storey (monicastoreyphotography): she is so creative with her use of light, composition and blur. 

Fuck my list could keep going and going and going and…………

I would so encourage anyone looking to take themselves to the next level to turn inward and sit with themselves. Let go of self doubt and limitations you put on yourself, leave excuses behind you. Tune out the noise for a while. Let these pieces of yourself that you didn’t know were there come forward. Pay attention to your dreams, your surroundings and learn more about who you are. Make some really fucking terrible art. Make some great art without thinking about how it’s going to do on social media. Give yourself permission to REST. Let yourself create from a place where it’s not about content or a business transaction and just see where it takes you.  And most importantly:

keep going. keep shooting. keep trying. and be open. you are fucking awesome being yourself and the world deserves to see it.