The value of a birth “plan.”
…& why it shouldn’t be called a plan but should include a doula.
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Straight facts I never once felt like I needed a birth plan for any of my kids up until my fourth. My first three I always just claimed my birth plan was “to have a baby.” I didn’t want to get my heart set on birthing a certain way and then feel like a failure or upset when and if it didn’t work out. In my mind what I cared most about wasn’t so much how I birthed but just getting to hold my baby earth-side. When I was pregnant with my first I was pretty oblivious and ignorant if I’m being perfectly honest. I didn’t do research on my own or attend a birth class. I assumed you get pregnant, you go to the OB and you listen to whatever they tell you to do, you have a baby, nothing else matters. I would strongly suggest you NOT be like me. I had to learn through experience, I had to birth 3 humans, before it really sunk in that I needed to take more control of how I birth because it CAN be an empowering experience, and it is definitely more important than “just get the baby outta me.” It took birthing 3 humans for me to realize, “okay, I really do not like this. I don’t agree with this. This doesn’t feel right for me. Does it have to be this way?” Don’t let that be you.
I’ll preface this by saying this is not going to be some spiel about why you need a home birth- I know a lot of you are familiar with my experience and know that I chose to have a home birth for my last babe. Birth is not a black and white topic. There is no such thing as one kind of experience being a better way to to do it. This notion that one experience trumps others is detrimental and not a belief I carry. Home birth, hospital, drugs, c-section, VBAC, natural, midwife, OB- these things shouldn’t be pitted against each other. They’re all options. We are all different. Our bodies are all different. How you choose to birth is your prerogative and your business, which is why it is so imperative you have a birth plan. Your birth plan will help you be in control, informed of all of your options, and able to communicate to your birth team what is important to you.
Maybe you’re like I was and not really sure what is important to you. That’s okay. I would encourage you to do your own research about the different options, take a childbirth class (and pay attention!), and open dialogue with your partner about your preferences. If you have more questions you can always talk with your medical care provider and your doula who is NOT a medical professional but should have insight and resources to help guide you.
Once you start thinking about what’s important to you and what your preferences are you can start writing it down/making a list.
This should include things that are important to you during labor and immediately after birth. Some examples of things to include are who you want to be in the room with you, how you want to cope with labor sensations, skin to skin after delivery, cord clamping, if you plan on breastfeeding, etc. (If you need help I have a template that might be useful for you). Writing these down will greatly help those around you know how you feel and what your wishes are for birth and postpartum.
The reason I don’t love the idea of calling it a birth “plan” is that it almost has this connotation that if things go awry, if you deviate from course, then it’s a failure or a negative thing. It almost adds this subconscious pressure. You don’t have to stick to a plan. You are allowed to change your mind, things are allowed to be different. Calling it a plan keeps things simple, but don’t lose sight of what’s most important- healthy mom+healthy baby. Babies have their own plan too, so sometimes ya gotta adapt.
Organizing your thoughts about your delivery and postpartum expectations/hopes will help you have the most control over your experience. It will allow you both to feel confident and like an active participant in your birth. Most importantly, you should have a medical professional who is on board with your birth plan. As a laboring momma and supportive partner, having a doula to help advocate for and support you can be greatly beneficial. Your doula will meet with you prenatally and discuss your plan, get to know you, and help you navigate everything. The purpose of a birth doula is to help women feel safe, educated, and empowered during their birth experience. They are trained in providing emotional, physical, and educational support to a mother. Your doula establishes a relationship with you, helps you with your birth plan, answers questions (again, they are not a medical professional, but do have knowledge about some of the medical aspects of labor and delivery), provides comfort and support during labor, and advocates to help fulfill specific requests during the birth process. Doulas are not just for home births or unmedicated births. Doulas can provide support in a hospital, with an epidural, or even during a cesarean. The goal of a doula is not to tell you or judge you on how you birth. The goal is to support the mother (and partner) through a safe and positive birth experience.
Bottom line: DON’T BE LIKE ME. Take time and initiative to think about what’s important to you. Having a birth plan is perfect practice for advocating for your kids which you’ll be doing for the rest of forever :) Trust yourself and think about what labor and delivery looks like for you. Not what is most convenient for your doctor, not what your mom did when she had her kids, or what your best friend thinks. This is about you, your partner, and your baby- “plan” it out!
